Today I learned about the importance of family and property grabbing. By Zambian law, when a husband dies 50% of his estate goes to the children, 20% to the spouse, 20% to the biological parents and 10% to dependents (his brothers, his nieces and his nephews). Most clans are matrilineal and children belong to the wife’s family while property belongs to the husband and his family. Since the husband traditionally works and brings in money (and keeps property in his name) the property is his and his families. After the funeral, everything is taken out of the house and divided among the husband’s relatives, very quickly. The widow and children receive nothing and this is enforced by threat of physical harm. If the husband’s family believes she is hiding any property they will beat her severely. The husband’s family has no interest in the children or their protection since they belong to the wife and the wife’s family in a matrilineal system. People are more attached to their families and clans than to their spouses. The family/clan of origin and NOT one spouse is relied upon one's entire life and more important than the marriage bond.
If a widow goes to court for her right to 20% of the estate, she may forgo the cleansing ritual which only her husband’s family can grant her. The belief is that couples are bonded to one another and to each other’s families through a spiritual experience during the act of sexual intercourse. This bond to the family remains after the death of a spouse and can be dangerous to any future marriage or children. When a spouse dies, the widow(er) is still bound to the family and must be cleansed. The spirit/ghost/power of the dead person is still inside the spouse and needs to be cleansed and removed. Without cleansing, if the person remarries outside the clan the future family and spouse will be put at risk for madness, sickness and even death. An individual from the spouse’s clan is chosen to perform the cleansing which involves sexual intercourse with the bereaved spouse. If the widow chooses to become a second or third wife of a brother of her husband she remains in the clan and does not need to be cleansed. If a widower agrees to take another wife in replacement from the tribe he does not need to be cleansed. If a widow fights for her property rights the clan can refuse to allow her to be cleansed and can humiliate her by choosing a young boy or a mad man to be the one to cleans her. They can also defer cleansing for many years, preventing her from remarrying.
Since the advent of AIDS some of the traditions have changed so that there is a ritual of cleansing which might involved a close relative placing a flower under the bed while having intercourse with their own spouse (there is no intercourse required of the bereaved spouse) and then the widow (er) is presented with the flower, a lock of hair is cut and a prayer of blessing is given thus freeing the bereaved spouse to marry someone else. If the ritual is done with a flower, however, when there is an illness in the future, there may be questions and suspicions that the ritual was done improperly. People question if the flower was truly “hot” or if the ritual was done improperly and the flower was actually powerless.
The church has rejected the idea of a ghost haunting a person and the need for this sexual cleansing. Until the AIDS epidemic, the church was unable to make a change in this cultural behavior. Even now the family and not the church provide for the ritual and being cleansed remains a RIGHT of the bereaved. FEAR of the power of the ifibanda (ghosts, spirits), the importance of ancestors and the primacy of family before loyalty to a spouse are traditional cultural values and beliefs which still hold sway especially in the rural areas.
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