I was called
to the maternity ward to help assess and manage an infant delivered at 28 weeks
by dates after premature rupture of membranes. The mother had had some
abdominal pains earlier in the week and had been hospitalized for possible
preterm labor. Everything had been done that could be done to prevent delivery
and to prepare for it at the same time; antibiotics for possible urinary tract
infection even though the urinalysis was normal, steroids to try to mature the babies
lungs and drugs to attempt to stop contractions. The parents had been waiting,
hoping and praying for a child for eight years and the mother was now 38 years old.
Mercy Oduyoye, Bridget Ben-Naimah and
other African women theologians have described reproduction from the
traditional African perspective as a woman's religious duty and the most
important factor governing marriages. They report African woman are
disempowered and shamed by childlessness even in the church community. One of the students from Ohio doing a rotation asked me if people think about children the way we do. It is
clear by the names given to children, they are desired and cherished; patients with names
in Chichewa meaning Accomplishment, Remembrance, We are thankful, Love, Faith, Gift, and Fruition
were all on the ward this month.
I saw the
breath go out of this medically educated mother when I told her the baby
weighed just 720gms. We spoke of the next 24 hours as the most critical for her baby's survival. Being able to breathe alone would be the telling factor. I
tried to instill hope even when I had none. It was less than an hour after
birth when the baby began to have episodes of apnea (failing to breathe) and
bradycardia (low heart rate) with concomitant drops in oxygenation. Apnea and
bradycardia are seen in nearly 100% of babies born under 1000gms. In Neonatal ICU's in the US we have surfactant and ventilators
to help premature lungs and children survive. We did not have a catheter, an endotracheal
tube or even a nasogastric tube small enough to use in this infant. Through a
miniscule butterfly IV introduced into a vein barely visible through the translucent
skin, we gave antibiotics and dextrose.
When the baby
failed to breathe we began giving extra breathes with an ambu bag. The oxygen saturation
continued to fall slowly and inexorably. Despite drugs to stimulate the heart,
respiratory distress persisted and progressed. In a final effort to try
anything that might help I called the lab to come and assess for anemia and
then contacted the missionary surgeon with O- blood to give 15ml (3 teaspoons)
of blood in the unlikely event that this would improve the course of events. Shortly
before her death,her mother began asking
questions every mother asks, "Was there anything I did to cause this? Was
there anything I could have done to prevent this?" When a child is sick
mothers the world over blame themselves wondering if there was anything done or
not done that led to their child's illness. I have done it myself. At a deeper often unspoken level in Africa people often wonder if there is a curse or an evil force conjured by someone to cause illness and death. Five hours after her birth this beloved and cherished child died. "I am so sorry. She was just too little."
In the late
afternoon, when the relatives had gathered, a group of 30 women proceeded in
single file out from the hospital gate carrying a small bundle. The mother and
father were not among the group which included women friends, staff, patients and myself.
Three different women took turns carrying the baby, wrapped in a pink blanket, in
their arms. A cloth which covered their chests was tied at the back hiding
their precious bundle. Twice on the journey the group stopped while the baby was taken and
placed in another's arms, retying the cloth. Each of the three women bore the
burden of their friend's child a relatively short distance on the way to the
forest but there was solidarity in the act - a sharing of the loss. It was
getting toward dusk, the breeze was picking up and the clouds in the sky were
changing to pinks and oranges. There was a good chance of rain and only one of
us had an umbrella. We marched on across the field, across the road, through
the school yard and into the graveyard. Without a word women broke away from
the line and began picking up large rocks from the sides of the path. I moved
into the grass and found two sizeable moss covered rocks. Rocks in hand we
proceeded on past fresh graves strewn with withered and faded flowers into the quiet
of the surrounding forest. We followed a narrow dirt path further into the
forest till the group stopped by a large tree. After some discussion one of
the women began digging with a khasu, a wooden handled hoe whose blade can be turned and used as an axe or a shovel. Women took turns beating the
earth and shoveling it aside. Each worked digging the grave deeper and deeper
while others stood in a semicircle watching. When one woman paused another
would take the handle and begin again pounding the earth with renewed vigor. The
vigorous hammering seemed cathartic. Eventually the depth of the grave reached
mid-thigh. Still the beating and shoveling continued until everyone was
satisfied it was deep enough so that this tiny infant would not become prey for
the wild dogs. Finally a woman on her knees in the soft earth at the edge of
the grave shoveled out the last bit of earth and all were satisfied. As we
stood in the darkening forest watching the proceedings, the laughter of
children playing in a field nearby moved through the trees and we could feel
the coming of rain. Nearby saplings were quickly hacked down and leaves
stripped off the branches, creating a bed of leaves on which to place the
infant. Then the patter of rain drops began as if the Lord himself were weeping
and the infant was gently lowered into the grave and covered with white plastic.
Sticks were positioned lengthwise over the body followed by a layer of
rocks and dirt. The remaining dirt was mounded up a foot high above the level
of the ground and rocks arranged on top. A simple prayer was said and we slowly
filed back out of the forest past many, many, many other small unmarked mounds.
Psalm 139 "....All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be..."